The art of timed gratitude: Appreciation bolsters workplace relationships
For success in the workplace, nurturing strong relationships with colleagues is as crucial as honing one's skills. The dynamic of mutual give-and-take is pivotal, and recent research underscores the significance of its timing.
Your colleague has spent the last two hours assisting you with a difficult project, even after the workday has ended. You feel incredibly grateful. You are now grabbing a quick dinner from the takeout place down the street. You think about reaching for your wallet to treat them, but then you hesitate. After all, you know there will be an opportunity to help them in return in the next quarter. But is it wise to wait?
In the high-stakes world of business, it's easy to get caught up in our own tasks and objectives as we strive for success. Yet, success in the workplace is not solely determined by our skills and experience, but also by our ability to cultivate strong relationships with our colleagues. Much research suggests that expressing gratitude is central to building strong bonds at work. However, recent research has uncovered that the timing of your expression of gratitude can have profound consequences on trust in relationships.
Research in psychology suggests that the sense of obligation to reciprocate associated with receiving help fades over time (Goyal et al., 2017, 2020, 2021). In fact, people are less likely to reciprocate assistance three months after receiving it. Hence, making expressive gestures of gratitude, such as treating a colleague to a meal or a cup of coffee, within three months of receiving help, can send a subtle but powerful message to your colleagues about your willingness to participate in mutual give-and-take, which can foster trust and enhance interpersonal connection.
The timing of your expression of gratitude can have profound consequences on trust in relationships
When someone offers help, they take a risk, not knowing when, how, or if they will receive anything in return. Making an expressive gesture of appreciation after receiving help rewards that risk and reduces the unease that may be associated with effortful helping by inducing positive feelings between the giver and the receiver.
Why is three months the magic window? Research suggests that expressing gratitude more than three months after receiving help is often no longer linked to the initial assistance and therefore may not have the same impact on relationship trust (Goyal et al., 2017). To optimize the impact of your gestures, aim to make them within three months of receiving help.
How to empower gratitude in the workplace
To ensure that your expressions of gratitude have the desired effect, here are four strategies for leveraging the power of gratitude in the workplace:
1. Size doesn’t matter
Don't worry about matching the size of your gesture to the help received. Instead, focus on making a meaningful and timely expression of gratitude, regardless of the cost.
2. Make it concrete
Research has demonstrated that tangible gestures, such as buying a colleague lunch or coffee, are more impactful in clearing debt and increasing the likelihood of future assistance.
3. Embrace the halo effect
By expressing gratitude, you create positive impressions that can spill over into other areas of your personal and professional life. Take advantage of this by using expressions of gratitude to boost your personal and professional reputation.
4. Spread the joy
Reciprocity is contagious. Quickly rewarding positive actions with other positive actions motivates others to do the same, creating a culture of gratitude in the workplace. Pay it forward and watch positivity spread throughout your organization.
A small, thoughtful gesture made within three months of receiving help can go a long way in creating a positive work culture. Show your appreciation the next time a colleague lends a helping hand and watch your professional relationships and reputation soar.